diff --git a/backend/db/member.go b/backend/db/member.go
index 9a6e3de..6eb7c81 100644
--- a/backend/db/member.go
+++ b/backend/db/member.go
@@ -26,6 +26,7 @@ type Member struct {
 	Links       []string
 	Names       []FieldEntry
 	Pronouns    []PronounEntry
+	Unlisted    bool
 }
 
 const (
@@ -68,10 +69,15 @@ func (db *DB) UserMember(ctx context.Context, userID xid.ID, memberRef string) (
 }
 
 // UserMembers returns all of a user's members, sorted by name.
-func (db *DB) UserMembers(ctx context.Context, userID xid.ID) (ms []Member, err error) {
-	sql, args, err := sq.Select("*").
+func (db *DB) UserMembers(ctx context.Context, userID xid.ID, showHidden bool) (ms []Member, err error) {
+	builder := sq.Select("*").
 		From("members").Where("user_id = ?", userID).
-		OrderBy("name", "id").ToSql()
+		OrderBy("name", "id")
+	if !showHidden {
+		builder = builder.Where("unlisted = ?", false)
+	}
+
+	sql, args, err := builder.ToSql()
 	if err != nil {
 		return nil, errors.Wrap(err, "building sql")
 	}
@@ -148,6 +154,7 @@ func (db *DB) UpdateMember(
 	ctx context.Context,
 	tx pgx.Tx, id xid.ID,
 	name, displayName, bio *string,
+	unlisted *bool,
 	links *[]string,
 	avatar *string,
 ) (m Member, err error) {
@@ -190,6 +197,9 @@ func (db *DB) UpdateMember(
 	if links != nil {
 		builder = builder.Set("links", *links)
 	}
+	if unlisted != nil {
+		builder = builder.Set("unlisted", *unlisted)
+	}
 
 	if avatar != nil {
 		if *avatar == "" {
diff --git a/backend/db/user.go b/backend/db/user.go
index 785528a..6b943e1 100644
--- a/backend/db/user.go
+++ b/backend/db/user.go
@@ -20,6 +20,7 @@ type User struct {
 	Username    string
 	DisplayName *string
 	Bio         *string
+	MemberTitle *string
 
 	Avatar *string
 	Links  []string
@@ -35,8 +36,9 @@ type User struct {
 	FediverseAppID    *int64
 	FediverseInstance *string
 
-	MaxInvites int
-	IsAdmin    bool
+	MaxInvites  int
+	IsAdmin     bool
+	ListPrivate bool
 
 	DeletedAt    *time.Time
 	SelfDelete   *bool
@@ -317,10 +319,11 @@ func (db *DB) UpdateUser(
 	ctx context.Context,
 	tx pgx.Tx, id xid.ID,
 	displayName, bio *string,
+	memberTitle *string, listPrivate *bool,
 	links *[]string,
 	avatar *string,
 ) (u User, err error) {
-	if displayName == nil && bio == nil && links == nil && avatar == nil {
+	if displayName == nil && bio == nil && links == nil && avatar == nil && memberTitle == nil && listPrivate == nil {
 		sql, args, err := sq.Select("*").From("users").Where("id = ?", id).ToSql()
 		if err != nil {
 			return u, errors.Wrap(err, "building sql")
@@ -349,9 +352,19 @@ func (db *DB) UpdateUser(
 			builder = builder.Set("bio", *bio)
 		}
 	}
+	if memberTitle != nil {
+		if *memberTitle == "" {
+			builder = builder.Set("member_title", nil)
+		} else {
+			builder = builder.Set("member_title", *memberTitle)
+		}
+	}
 	if links != nil {
 		builder = builder.Set("links", *links)
 	}
+	if listPrivate != nil {
+		builder = builder.Set("list_private", *listPrivate)
+	}
 
 	if avatar != nil {
 		if *avatar == "" {
@@ -492,7 +505,7 @@ func (db *DB) CleanUser(ctx context.Context, id xid.ID) error {
 		}
 	}
 
-	members, err := db.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
+	members, err := db.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, true)
 	if err != nil {
 		return errors.Wrap(err, "getting members")
 	}
diff --git a/backend/exporter/exporter.go b/backend/exporter/exporter.go
index f475edc..590275f 100644
--- a/backend/exporter/exporter.go
+++ b/backend/exporter/exporter.go
@@ -175,7 +175,7 @@ func (s *server) doExport(u db.User) {
 		log.Debugf("[%v] exported user avatar", u.ID)
 	}
 
-	members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
+	members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, true)
 	if err != nil {
 		log.Errorf("[%v] getting user members: %v", u.ID, err)
 		return
diff --git a/backend/routes/member/create_member.go b/backend/routes/member/create_member.go
index fdce8ad..d3520ba 100644
--- a/backend/routes/member/create_member.go
+++ b/backend/routes/member/create_member.go
@@ -161,7 +161,7 @@ func (s *Server) createMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) (err error
 		return errors.Wrap(err, "committing transaction")
 	}
 
-	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, cmr.Fields))
+	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, cmr.Fields, true))
 	return nil
 }
 
diff --git a/backend/routes/member/get_member.go b/backend/routes/member/get_member.go
index 7028b4f..efe6284 100644
--- a/backend/routes/member/get_member.go
+++ b/backend/routes/member/get_member.go
@@ -24,10 +24,12 @@ type GetMemberResponse struct {
 	Fields   []db.Field        `json:"fields"`
 
 	User PartialUser `json:"user"`
+
+	Unlisted *bool `json:"unlisted,omitempty"`
 }
 
-func dbMemberToMember(u db.User, m db.Member, fields []db.Field) GetMemberResponse {
-	return GetMemberResponse{
+func dbMemberToMember(u db.User, m db.Member, fields []db.Field, isOwnMember bool) GetMemberResponse {
+	r := GetMemberResponse{
 		ID:          m.ID,
 		Name:        m.Name,
 		DisplayName: m.DisplayName,
@@ -46,6 +48,12 @@ func dbMemberToMember(u db.User, m db.Member, fields []db.Field) GetMemberRespon
 			Avatar:      u.Avatar,
 		},
 	}
+
+	if isOwnMember {
+		r.Unlisted = &m.Unlisted
+	}
+
+	return r
 }
 
 type PartialUser struct {
@@ -81,12 +89,17 @@ func (s *Server) getMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrMemberNotFound}
 	}
 
+	isOwnMember := false
+	if claims, ok := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx); ok && claims.UserID == u.ID {
+		isOwnMember = true
+	}
+
 	fields, err := s.DB.MemberFields(ctx, m.ID)
 	if err != nil {
 		return err
 	}
 
-	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields))
+	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields, isOwnMember))
 	return nil
 }
 
@@ -104,6 +117,11 @@ func (s *Server) getUserMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrUserNotFound}
 	}
 
+	isOwnMember := false
+	if claims, ok := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx); ok && claims.UserID == u.ID {
+		isOwnMember = true
+	}
+
 	m, err := s.DB.UserMember(ctx, u.ID, chi.URLParam(r, "memberRef"))
 	if err != nil {
 		return server.APIError{
@@ -116,7 +134,7 @@ func (s *Server) getUserMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return err
 	}
 
-	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields))
+	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields, isOwnMember))
 	return nil
 }
 
diff --git a/backend/routes/member/get_members.go b/backend/routes/member/get_members.go
index 6f90b24..7883744 100644
--- a/backend/routes/member/get_members.go
+++ b/backend/routes/member/get_members.go
@@ -52,7 +52,16 @@ func (s *Server) getUserMembers(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrUserNotFound}
 	}
 
-	ms, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
+	isSelf := false
+	if claims, ok := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx); ok && claims.UserID == u.ID {
+		isSelf = true
+	}
+
+	if u.ListPrivate && !isSelf {
+		return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrMemberListPrivate}
+	}
+
+	ms, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, isSelf)
 	if err != nil {
 		return err
 	}
@@ -65,7 +74,7 @@ func (s *Server) getMeMembers(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	ctx := r.Context()
 	claims, _ := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx)
 
-	ms, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, claims.UserID)
+	ms, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, claims.UserID, true)
 	if err != nil {
 		return err
 	}
diff --git a/backend/routes/member/patch_member.go b/backend/routes/member/patch_member.go
index c83746d..f512c72 100644
--- a/backend/routes/member/patch_member.go
+++ b/backend/routes/member/patch_member.go
@@ -23,6 +23,7 @@ type PatchMemberRequest struct {
 	Pronouns    *[]db.PronounEntry `json:"pronouns"`
 	Fields      *[]db.Field        `json:"fields"`
 	Avatar      *string            `json:"avatar"`
+	Unlisted    *bool              `json:"unlisted"`
 }
 
 func (s *Server) patchMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
@@ -62,6 +63,7 @@ func (s *Server) patchMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	if req.DisplayName == nil &&
 		req.Name == nil &&
 		req.Bio == nil &&
+		req.Unlisted == nil &&
 		req.Links == nil &&
 		req.Fields == nil &&
 		req.Names == nil &&
@@ -213,7 +215,7 @@ func (s *Server) patchMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	}
 	defer tx.Rollback(ctx)
 
-	m, err = s.DB.UpdateMember(ctx, tx, id, req.Name, req.DisplayName, req.Bio, req.Links, avatarHash)
+	m, err = s.DB.UpdateMember(ctx, tx, id, req.Name, req.DisplayName, req.Bio, req.Unlisted, req.Links, avatarHash)
 	if err != nil {
 		switch errors.Cause(err) {
 		case db.ErrNothingToUpdate:
@@ -274,6 +276,6 @@ func (s *Server) patchMember(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	}
 
 	// echo the updated member back on success
-	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields))
+	render.JSON(w, r, dbMemberToMember(u, m, fields, true))
 	return nil
 }
diff --git a/backend/routes/user/get_user.go b/backend/routes/user/get_user.go
index 0b36904..b8e3833 100644
--- a/backend/routes/user/get_user.go
+++ b/backend/routes/user/get_user.go
@@ -16,6 +16,7 @@ type GetUserResponse struct {
 	Username    string            `json:"name"`
 	DisplayName *string           `json:"display_name"`
 	Bio         *string           `json:"bio"`
+	MemberTitle *string           `json:"member_title"`
 	Avatar      *string           `json:"avatar"`
 	Links       []string          `json:"links"`
 	Names       []db.FieldEntry   `json:"names"`
@@ -27,8 +28,9 @@ type GetUserResponse struct {
 type GetMeResponse struct {
 	GetUserResponse
 
-	MaxInvites int  `json:"max_invites"`
-	IsAdmin    bool `json:"is_admin"`
+	MaxInvites  int  `json:"max_invites"`
+	IsAdmin     bool `json:"is_admin"`
+	ListPrivate bool `json:"list_private"`
 
 	Discord         *string `json:"discord"`
 	DiscordUsername *string `json:"discord_username"`
@@ -55,6 +57,7 @@ func dbUserToResponse(u db.User, fields []db.Field, members []db.Member) GetUser
 		Username:    u.Username,
 		DisplayName: u.DisplayName,
 		Bio:         u.Bio,
+		MemberTitle: u.MemberTitle,
 		Avatar:      u.Avatar,
 		Links:       db.NotNull(u.Links),
 		Names:       db.NotNull(u.Names),
@@ -87,16 +90,28 @@ func (s *Server) getUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	if id, err := xid.FromString(userRef); err == nil {
 		u, err := s.DB.User(ctx, id)
 		if err == nil {
+			if u.DeletedAt != nil {
+				return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrUserNotFound}
+			}
+
+			isSelf := false
+			if claims, ok := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx); ok && claims.UserID == u.ID {
+				isSelf = true
+			}
+
 			fields, err := s.DB.UserFields(ctx, u.ID)
 			if err != nil {
 				log.Errorf("Error getting user fields: %v", err)
 				return err
 			}
 
-			members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
-			if err != nil {
-				log.Errorf("Error getting user members: %v", err)
-				return err
+			var members []db.Member
+			if !u.ListPrivate || isSelf {
+				members, err = s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, isSelf)
+				if err != nil {
+					log.Errorf("Error getting user members: %v", err)
+					return err
+				}
 			}
 
 			render.JSON(w, r, dbUserToResponse(u, fields, members))
@@ -123,16 +138,24 @@ func (s *Server) getUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return server.APIError{Code: server.ErrUserNotFound}
 	}
 
+	isSelf := false
+	if claims, ok := server.ClaimsFromContext(ctx); ok && claims.UserID == u.ID {
+		isSelf = true
+	}
+
 	fields, err := s.DB.UserFields(ctx, u.ID)
 	if err != nil {
 		log.Errorf("Error getting user fields: %v", err)
 		return err
 	}
 
-	members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
-	if err != nil {
-		log.Errorf("Error getting user members: %v", err)
-		return err
+	var members []db.Member
+	if !u.ListPrivate || isSelf {
+		members, err = s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, isSelf)
+		if err != nil {
+			log.Errorf("Error getting user members: %v", err)
+			return err
+		}
 	}
 
 	render.JSON(w, r, dbUserToResponse(u, fields, members))
@@ -155,7 +178,7 @@ func (s *Server) getMeUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		return err
 	}
 
-	members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
+	members, err := s.DB.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, true)
 	if err != nil {
 		log.Errorf("Error getting user members: %v", err)
 		return err
@@ -165,6 +188,7 @@ func (s *Server) getMeUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		GetUserResponse:   dbUserToResponse(u, fields, members),
 		MaxInvites:        u.MaxInvites,
 		IsAdmin:           u.IsAdmin,
+		ListPrivate:       u.ListPrivate,
 		Discord:           u.Discord,
 		DiscordUsername:   u.DiscordUsername,
 		Fediverse:         u.Fediverse,
diff --git a/backend/routes/user/patch_user.go b/backend/routes/user/patch_user.go
index 622621d..35901ca 100644
--- a/backend/routes/user/patch_user.go
+++ b/backend/routes/user/patch_user.go
@@ -15,11 +15,13 @@ type PatchUserRequest struct {
 	Username    *string            `json:"username"`
 	DisplayName *string            `json:"display_name"`
 	Bio         *string            `json:"bio"`
+	MemberTitle *string            `json:"member_title"`
 	Links       *[]string          `json:"links"`
 	Names       *[]db.FieldEntry   `json:"names"`
 	Pronouns    *[]db.PronounEntry `json:"pronouns"`
 	Fields      *[]db.Field        `json:"fields"`
 	Avatar      *string            `json:"avatar"`
+	ListPrivate *bool              `json:"list_private"`
 }
 
 // patchUser parses a PatchUserRequest and updates the user with the given ID.
@@ -48,6 +50,8 @@ func (s *Server) patchUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 	if req.Username == nil &&
 		req.DisplayName == nil &&
 		req.Bio == nil &&
+		req.MemberTitle == nil &&
+		req.ListPrivate == nil &&
 		req.Links == nil &&
 		req.Fields == nil &&
 		req.Names == nil &&
@@ -72,6 +76,13 @@ func (s *Server) patchUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 			Details: fmt.Sprintf("Bio too long (max %d, current %d)", db.MaxUserBioLength, len(*req.Bio)),
 		}
 	}
+	// this is considered a name
+	if req.MemberTitle != nil && len(*req.MemberTitle) > db.MaxDisplayNameLength {
+		return server.APIError{
+			Code:    server.ErrBadRequest,
+			Details: fmt.Sprintf("Member title too long (max %d, current %d)", db.MaxDisplayNameLength, len(*req.MemberTitle)),
+		}
+	}
 
 	// validate links
 	if req.Links != nil {
@@ -175,7 +186,7 @@ func (s *Server) patchUser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) error {
 		}
 	}
 
-	u, err = s.DB.UpdateUser(ctx, tx, claims.UserID, req.DisplayName, req.Bio, req.Links, avatarHash)
+	u, err = s.DB.UpdateUser(ctx, tx, claims.UserID, req.DisplayName, req.Bio, req.MemberTitle, req.ListPrivate, req.Links, avatarHash)
 	if err != nil && errors.Cause(err) != db.ErrNothingToUpdate {
 		log.Errorf("updating user: %v", err)
 		return err
diff --git a/backend/server/errors.go b/backend/server/errors.go
index ab657a3..0b0ae3d 100644
--- a/backend/server/errors.go
+++ b/backend/server/errors.go
@@ -99,7 +99,8 @@ const (
 	ErrLastProvider        = 1016 // unlinking provider would leave account with no authentication method
 
 	// User-related error codes
-	ErrUserNotFound = 2001
+	ErrUserNotFound      = 2001
+	ErrMemberListPrivate = 2002
 
 	// Member-related error codes
 	ErrMemberNotFound     = 3001
@@ -141,7 +142,8 @@ var errCodeMessages = map[int]string{
 	ErrNotLinked:           "Your account is already not linked to an account of this type",
 	ErrLastProvider:        "This is your account's only authentication provider",
 
-	ErrUserNotFound: "User not found",
+	ErrUserNotFound:      "User not found",
+	ErrMemberListPrivate: "This user's member list is private.",
 
 	ErrMemberNotFound:     "Member not found",
 	ErrMemberLimitReached: "Member limit reached",
@@ -180,7 +182,8 @@ var errCodeStatuses = map[int]int{
 	ErrNotLinked:           http.StatusBadRequest,
 	ErrLastProvider:        http.StatusBadRequest,
 
-	ErrUserNotFound: http.StatusNotFound,
+	ErrUserNotFound:      http.StatusNotFound,
+	ErrMemberListPrivate: http.StatusForbidden,
 
 	ErrMemberNotFound:     http.StatusNotFound,
 	ErrMemberLimitReached: http.StatusBadRequest,
diff --git a/frontend/src/lib/api/entities.ts b/frontend/src/lib/api/entities.ts
index b2ba0ec..133b609 100644
--- a/frontend/src/lib/api/entities.ts
+++ b/frontend/src/lib/api/entities.ts
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ export interface User {
   bio: string | null;
   avatar: string | null;
   links: string[];
+  member_title: string | null;
 
   names: FieldEntry[];
   pronouns: Pronoun[];
@@ -24,6 +25,7 @@ export interface MeUser extends User {
   fediverse: string | null;
   fediverse_username: string | null;
   fediverse_instance: string | null;
+  list_private: boolean;
 }
 
 export interface Field {
@@ -66,6 +68,7 @@ export interface Member extends PartialMember {
   fields: Field[];
 
   user: MemberPartialUser;
+  unlisted?: boolean;
 }
 
 export interface MemberPartialUser {
diff --git a/scripts/cleandb/main.go b/scripts/cleandb/main.go
index 2741ed4..9a4ff10 100644
--- a/scripts/cleandb/main.go
+++ b/scripts/cleandb/main.go
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ func run(c *cli.Context) error {
 	}
 
 	for _, u := range users {
-		members, err := db.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID)
+		members, err := db.UserMembers(ctx, u.ID, true)
 		if err != nil {
 			fmt.Printf("error getting members for user %v: %v\n", u.ID, err)
 			continue
diff --git a/scripts/migrate/012_custom_options.sql b/scripts/migrate/012_custom_options.sql
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..31c2212
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/migrate/012_custom_options.sql
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+-- +migrate Up
+
+-- 2023-04-01: Add a couple customization options to users and members
+
+alter table users add column member_title text;
+alter table users add column list_private boolean not null default false;
+
+alter table members add column unlisted boolean not null default false;
diff --git a/scripts/seeddb/main.go b/scripts/seeddb/main.go
index 4cf31c2..d3d31c2 100644
--- a/scripts/seeddb/main.go
+++ b/scripts/seeddb/main.go
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ func run(c *cli.Context) error {
 		return err
 	}
 
-	_, err = pg.UpdateUser(ctx, tx, u.ID, ptr("testing"), ptr("This is a bio!"), &[]string{"https://pronouns.cc"}, nil)
+	_, err = pg.UpdateUser(ctx, tx, u.ID, ptr("testing"), ptr("This is a bio!"), nil, ptr(false), &[]string{"https://pronouns.cc"}, nil)
 	if err != nil {
 		fmt.Println("error setting user info:", err)
 		return err